A BARE Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

Wow. So I know it’s been about…10 years since we last spoke, and good golly what a crazy 10 years it’s been. First, there was that whole incident with Sarah and the “Santa Claus isn’t real” conspiracy (which we both know she started because of a certain something that got her permanently on the naughty list), then my parents started acting all weird by telling me that they were going to stop “pretending” to be you (still not exactly sure what they meant by that), and to top it all off, the United Holiday Elves Fair Labor Association has been making it nearly impossible for gift production to operate smoothly, what with their increasingly aggressive demands for a greater share of the Christmas cookie haul. So while I know you’ve got a lot on your plate right now, I would just like to say that I’ve been a really, really, reaaaally good girl this past year. Super good. Bordering on saintly, even. And after working so hard all semester, don’t you think I deserve a little something nice off my wish list?

All I want for Christmas is…

For Carine Roitfeld to stay on as Editor-in-Chief of Vogue Paris
Santa, could you please put some sort of merry Christmas spell on Carine Roitfeld so that she won’t leave Vogue at the end of this coming January? Without Ms. Roitfeld around, who will throw the over-the-top masquerade balls, who will push that fine line between fashion and controversy, who will we turn to for our daily fixes of chic Parisian fabulousness? A world without Carine Roitfeld at the helm of Vogue Paris is a dull one indeed, and as the patron saint of all things jolly, I believe it is your duty to prevent catastrophes like these from happening. And please, do hurry…I think I can already feel the void left by Carine’s absence begin to suck away at my creative soul.

Alexander McQueen Fall 2010 RTW collection

Alexander McQueen’s Fall 2010 Ready-to-Wear Collection
I am neither a millionaire nor a medieval princess, but still I cannot help coveting Lee Alexander McQueen’s final collection with a passion that borders on obsessive. The richly embroidered dresses, which I imagine would be a perfect match for Titania, Queen of the Faeries in Shakespeare’s A Midsummer’s Night Dream, are a stunning testament to McQueen’s singular vision, and the final look, a feathery coat with a Tudor-esque collar, is simply breathtaking in its beauty. Looking at it now, I see a regal swan whose pure white feathers have been painstakingly covered in brilliant gold leaf, like something straight out of a dream. Alas, it is only in my dreams that I get to hold these wondrous pieces of clothing, and if you can’t make my dreams come true, then no one can.

A Lady Gaga x Nicki Minaj Collaboration
I don’t know what kind of music they’ve got up there in the North Pole, but surely even you must have heard of Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj. Just imagine what sort of mind-blowing musical explosion could result from their collaboration—men in leather harnesses yielding samurai swords, lots of bejeweled, underwater alien costumes, and awesome lyrics about doing your own thing and letting the “haterz keep on hatin’.” Who knows, they might even come out with a nice little Christmas jingle, too.

A Donation for the Edible Schoolyard Program
Okay, so far everything on my wish list has been things that I want, which, besides from making me look totally selfish, is not what the Christmas spirit is all about. The Edible Schoolyard Program was started by Berkeley food superstar and Chez Panisse owner Alice Waters, and it aims to teach students how to take a few simple, local ingredients and turn it into a deliciously nutritious meal. As one of the volunteers at the local Berkeley branch (held at the Martin Luther King Jr., Middle School) I can say with the utmost confidence that this program changes the way students approach food. I still remember the feeling of shock I experienced when a bunch of sixth graders, who had openly professed to liking pizza and slushies more than anything, went crazy for an all veggie stir-fry, something even I would have called “bland diet food.” Of course, when you’re using the freshest ingredients, plain veggie stir-fry somehow gets elevated to a whole new level of deliciousness, and the students certainly learned a valuable lesson that day. So Santa, help me do something nice this Christmas, and please give a small donation to the Chez Panisse Foundation—I’m sure your round tummy will thank me for it later.

Aimee Shimizu
Assistant Blog Editor

1 comment:

  1. Such a great letter to Santa! Super creative and fun to read. Good job BARE :)

    ReplyDelete